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    "The Bachelorette" men are the worst: 7 reasons why this season is going to be a glorious disaster

    Brandon, 28, "Hipster"
    This self-proclaimed "hipster" by trade — that's right, not an artisanal chocolatier or re-claimed wood whittler but a generic "hipster" — doesn't even have any tattoos. (He does list one of his best attributes as "humble," though).

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    "The Bachelorette" men are the worst: 7 reasons why this season is going to be a glorious disaster

    Evan, Erectile Dysfunction Expert, 33
    Believe it or not, the worst thing about Evan isn't his career. His biggest deal-breaker is: "Girls with chipped nail polish, girls who talk too much, narcissists, clingers, girls who have serious food allergies." Jabbing yourself in the leg with an Epi pen actually sounds preferable to a date with him.

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    "The Bachelorette" men are the worst: 7 reasons why this season is going to be a glorious disaster

    Daniel, Male Model, 31
    A "male model" who refers to his body as a "lambo" not once, but twice, in a biography that he presumably had time to mull over. (Example: "Are you comfortable wearing swimwear in public?" "Very comfortable. Why have a lambo if you park it in the garage?”)

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    "The Bachelorette" men are the worst: 7 reasons why this season is going to be a glorious disaster

    Nick S., Software Salesman, 26
    Not only does Nick S. take neckerchief fashion cues from Fred of "Scooby-Doo," but he lists the food he dislikes most as “scary cheeses.” Bad-mouthing cheese is like bad-mouthing our best friend. Deal-breaker, Nick S. Deal-breaker.

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    "The Bachelorette" men are the worst: 7 reasons why this season is going to be a glorious disaster

    Grant, Firefighter, 27
    On the one hand, Grant is the sexy firefighter of our dreams. On the other hand, his worst date memory is “Getting lunch with a girl and listening to her talk about Harry Potter for 20 minutes” — which actually doesn’t sound like enough time spent talking about the British national treasure.

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    "The Bachelorette" men are the worst: 7 reasons why this season is going to be a glorious disaster

    Vinny, Barber, 28
    Vinny, who somehow lives the paradoxical life of being a professional barber and existing with this haircut.

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    "The Bachelorette" men are the worst: 7 reasons why this season is going to be a glorious disaster

    Will, Civil Engineer, 26
    If Will could switch bodies with anyone for a day it would be serial womanizer and self-proclaimed “recovered ego addict” John Mayer so... um... yeah, enough said.

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

    Screen Shot 2013-11-08 at 3.50.18 PM (2)

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